kristinecuer

Finally!

I'm transferring (I don't know yet if this is for good) to a new site. I can't access blogger in the office since it's blocked and since 70% of the time I am in the office, it will be hard not to get in touch with my cyber-world so off with a different URL it is. Anway, I imported all of my blogs in my new site, so it's actually more or less the same with this blogger site of mine just with a better background and lay-out though^_^

Update:


February 09, 2011

My .tk account went down. It's a problem with the dot.tk site. I think since that .tk site of mine gained popularity they had it as a non-free domain instead. Such a scam. Anyway, I'm working on a new domain. This time, it's a non-free domain site so I'm pretty sure it's not a hoax.


Wait up for kristinecuer.com

ETA: 24-48 hours from now.

Follow me there again.^^


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Dear Mr. President

I'm not much of a political blogger nor do I have any interest on politics. Although yeah, once in a while I do give my own views and opinions over stuff like this. I don't want to be dub as someone who is apathetic, nor someone who simply rants over her government bulls just because the majority does the same thing. As much as possible, we have to weight things up before taking a side.

My country just heard the first ever State of the Nation Address from the President of our new government. I like the fact that President Aquino delivered his speech mostly in our own language for the majority to understand. He mostly talked about the horrors and debts left by the previous administration and promised a clean government under his term, and that we Filipinos can finally dream again. Well, if there's something "negative" I can comment from the President's speech, is there's not much concrete plans yet. All still seems too vague to be accomplished in a 6 year-run, but then maybe, just maybe, since as what he had mentioned, his government is learning from the mistakes of the previous administration, it's still too soon to come up with a plan on how to resolve those problems one by one.

Maybe if there's something I would like to tell President Noy directly, I'd probably say:

I did not vote for you last May 2010 election. During the campaign period I did not find you competent enough to lead a nation who seems to be broken beyond repair. I thought of you as someone who has nothing else aside from a popular mom and a heroic dad. But then you won and I was left with no other choice but to accept what the majority had decided. After-all that's what democracy is all about: we have to go with the majority.

But I hope you will prove me wrong for not choosing you last May election. Yes you are right when you said that last May 10 is a testament to the fact that the Filipino continues to hope for true change. Nobody wants to be drowned in apathy. And I genuinely wish I am wrong with being prejudice over you.

May you indeed lead this country to a better future. May you make those dreams realities. May you indeed start the change this country needs.

And 0h yes, please do lead the way.

Inception

There's probably nothing much I can say/write that you probably haven't read/heard about this movie. After all, a movie this rare is hard to miss. Proof of that, Inception is still an on going trending topic in twitter ever since it's first showing. People around the globe just can't help but join the bandwagon of giving their praise about the movie (though there are of course those who are not that as impress) but the majority is saying the same thing (including me) --- Inception is a great film.

Well personally, casting Joseph Gordon Levitt in the film is more than enough reason for me to watch. LOL. But I guess what works for this movie is the combination of it's stunning visual effects, comprehensive story-line and amazing cast ensemble. See, I am oozing with adjectives. haha. But again, as a movie-goer, it gets to challenge you to think, to try to understand the complexity of its plot, to comprehend its depth. It's nice to get away from the usual chick-flick/rom-com-kind of movies sometimes.

Psychology 101: Lucid Dreams, dreaming with-in-a-dream. I remember this as one of our topics back in college in our Psyche class about you waking up only to find out that you are still dreaming. Remembered a line from the movie: "Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange." I guess it's even stranger if you'd find your self in such state. That you keep on dreaming and waking up inside a dream. Pretty scary in a way. Like some unending process, until you come to a certain point of you not knowing what's real and what's not.

Inception though is more than dreaming. The thought of planting an idea to somebody---to make him believe that this is the exact truth is somehow synonymous to brain washing. In inception though, hypnotism is not the key. Plain and simple, you enter that person's mind while he/she is sleeping then rearrange everything from there. True, an idea indeed can transform the world and rewrite all the rules --- you can even bend the rules of physics!

Well, this is not like the first time a movie tried to mess with our mind. Or a movie tried to make us believe that our mind is definitely a powerful thing. But Christopher Nolan gives us another taste on our movie-platter. At least, we get to do away with the usual book-turned/comics-turned-in to movies. A big risk that definitely paid off.

So Dream big. cause if you don't dream big then what's the use of dreaming?

haha. --- So yeah, just go ahead, watch it. It'll be another movie experience.

Rating: ★★★★★

If we were a movie.

If we were starring in a romantic movie, I would have chosen Southern Son's You were there as our OST --- old school yes --- but somehow I can't find a better song than that. Cause though I know that this is a romantic acoustic song --- I still couldn't make it if the guy and the girl ended together basing on the lyrics.

If we were starring in a romantic movie, this is how it could have worked: We come in to each other's lives like serendipity --- some fortunate accident, we were both claiming we are not ready for love yet --- or make that falling in Love is not first in our priority list. For me, it was mainly because my first love did not went well enough-- I was heartbroken, while for you, it was mainly because career was and always first in your list --- no time to squeeze love in your tight and busy schedule. This first commonality first attracted me to you. My friends somehow knew that finally I have set my eyes into someone new and they found a way to introduce me to you. After some non-ceremonial introductions, we still manage to regard these things as ordinary -- we went back to focusing our attention to our daily routine--to our work.

Then one day you snap out of it. You've had enough time of being alone --- and you're finally ready to take a new chapter of your life with someone else. And then you realized through a series of flashbacks of the times that fate somehow shoved us together --- how happy and relax we seem to be in each other's company --- and how the timing seemed too perfect for the two of us. You realize that you too like me as much as I like you. Meanwhile, I lost hope that you will feel the same way, and afraid of another broken-heart, I decided to escape and planned to go back home for good.

You drove to the airport to stop me. You ran through traffic. You evaded the security personnel. And just when I'm about to board my flight, you called my name and you told me things I've been waiting and wanting to hear. We hugged --- yeah, even kissed and it felt as if we were the only people in the world.

Unfortunately that's not how it worked for us. I had always been smitten with you even before the serendipitous introductions. Even before I admitted to myself that I am finally over my first love. But you didn't snap out of it. You didn't realize that we belong together. You didn't feel the same way.

But I don't know. You always somehow manages to get my hopes high, or maybe it's just me who is reading the signs in a wrong way. But you said goodbye before we even had a chance to have a casual conversation.

Goodbye is such a strange idea isn't it?--- What if the person being left behind refuses to accept it or resents being waved goodbye? Is it still a goodbye for good or simply something like let's-just-call-it-a-day-concept?

I don't know why you left. But of course it wasn't because of anything I said or did, or anything I didn't say or didn't do. That would be so assuming of me. Maybe it wasn't even yours, either. You have to leave and the reason doesn't matter since it will not make much of a difference because I wasn't part of your past or your future anyway--- I was only a part of your present --- and that wasn't enough for you to stay. You never saw me as anything else or anything more. You left because you could and you are leaving because you can.

This has really been a long entry I know. Somehow I was thinking that I can't be like this all the time. That when somebody I like did not take a double look over me --- I'd feel rejected / unwanted / forlorn. It makes no sense that I'm always the one picking up the pieces in slow motion.

As usual, it's so tempting for me to look into the mirror and to see there's nothing more than a girl who can't get the boy she wants. When I try to evaluate my life, it's hard not to focus on the fact that I'm perpetually a single person for two decades now. It's tempting, it's hard, stupid in a way when I know there's a lot of other people who have worse case than I have and when I know that I am much more than those things.

For now, there's nothing for me to think further. I already did what I should have done long before you had said goodbye. Like what my friend said, not everyone can do that. It did not paid off but it was worth a try. Yeah, It was worth it in the end.

50 Things I'm suppose/ I forgot to tell you.

1. I'm suppose to be enjoying my rest day. Maybe watch a movie or go shopping not writing this note for you.

2. But I had been on haywire since yesterday --- since I read your email --- and I just need a channel to vent out --- then why not write a blog?

3. After all, I've always thought that blogging is something that we both share --- or make that we both like. Makes me wonder have you ever read any of my blog?

4. Speaking of that email, imagine my surprise when I first read the sender's name.

5. And imagine my reaction when I read the message of the mail. --- I had a hard time concentrating on my next 2 calls --- alright make that 3.

6. It really got me thinking why was I included in the list of people you had sent it to.

7. And especially the part where my name was last on the list.

8. I was thinking maybe you were still in doubt whether to include me or not or maybe my name is really just simply last in your address book.

9. Then I thought it doesn't really matter as long as I was included.

10. Sorry, it means something to me.

11. It means a lot that I even replied on impulse.

12. Now, I'm wondering what could have been your reaction the moment you read my reply.

13. And I'm wondering if you are going to reply to my reply.

14. My email response is suppose to be 2 paragraphs longer --- but I omitted some lines. I tried to keep it short and simple.

15. I don't want you to think that I am too affected by your decision.

16. The truth is --- I am.

17. And I mean it when I said that somehow I regret that we never really had a chance to talk --- despite the number of opportunities we/I had.

18. I hate hate hate the awkwardness that we had.

19. I've accepted a number of invites thinking you'd be there and maybe we'd end up chatting or something since we're finally outside the work premise.

20. But it always ends up with you not being there.

21. Well, I know that your priorities had always been different from the rest of us.

22. But well again, there's just this thing called "taking chances."

23. I much rather have Kris Allen, Daniel Radcliffe or Mr. Darcy. But I much rather have you.

24. So yeah I do like you --- like more than a lot actually.

25. In fact I've created 3 blogs for you (this will be the 4th) and I've mentioned you in 11 of my blogs.

26. But then there was some time that I tried to deny it and even formulated my Top 10 reasons why I don't like you.

27. I told my friend Abigail about it but she did not believe them. Worse, she simply laugh it off. So I ended up not posting it.

28. Like I don't like our one and only picture together --- I look constipated. and the fact that you had it uploaded in one of your social sites makes it worse.

29. But I like the way you smiled in that picture. Maybe I am just really a hopeless romantic that I always thought you were smiling for the camera for me.

30. Which reminds me I still have two of your smileys that you had given me from our company smile campaign. I had it posted in my wall together with my "Today's Advice" poster. I regard that as a happy thought to keep on smiling.

31. So speaking of your smile, I actually like your dimple. I will always remember that elevator incident. I never thought I could make you laugh but I think I did. Although, I really feel stupid that day.

32. So yeah, maybe I still do like you. I am your official online stalker. --- I'm not sure if this is a bad thing. But yeah, I like looking at your profile pic.

33. But going back to your mail, I actually thought that maybe that's your way of saying: "Thank you that you had taken fancy of me but it's time to wake-up, it's over --- move on."

34. But I also thought that maybe that's your way of saying that you do appreciate my attention and that you do acknowledge my existence when all the while I thought you did not.

35. Since I'll never really know your reason I'll stick with number 34.

36. Now you might be wondering why I opted for 50. No particular reason. I was suppose to make this 100 since the amount of time it takes to get over someone should be at least one third of the time you were together (or in our case, "together"), which means more or less around 10 months --- that makes it more or less 300 days.

37. But then I thought there's really nothing to get over so why will I make it 1/3? I went for 1/2 of 1/3 instead.

38. I like you-- more than a lot.

39. I think that's the 3rd time I mentioned it here. I don't know, maybe I just want to set the record straight.

40. I never wanted to use the word love over you --- that's pretty scary.

41. So maybe it's a good thing that we no longer have a chance to work again together --- cause there's a possibility that it might go beyond like.

42. That line comes to mind again: I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you. Yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you. --- good thing nothing is ever certain. Thank God for possibilities.

43. I don't know but yeah I will miss seeing those set of jackets.

44. I will miss your messy-obviously-I -just-woke-up-kind-of-hairstyle.

45. I will miss those times that I'd like to think that you're overstaying in the pantry cause I am there too --- eating/ pretending to read the newspaper.

46. I will miss us being teased in the office as if we're an item.

47. I will miss your stingy smile.

48. I will miss you.

49. I wish you happiness and may you finally find your place in the sun.

50. Hope you'll keep in touch. ♥

Falling in love with JMVECK.

They say that the yardstick of friendship is not the amount of time you had been together nor how much time you had spent with them, it's how you had spent those days with them. That just like a tree which is not measured on how tall it could be, but instead based on how deep the roots had grown. But if you have that kind of friendship whose roots had grown deeper but had still lasted through the years --- tested through time --- what more could you ask for?

Personally, I never asked for it. Ironically, I was the type of person who had always had my guard on all the time --- Trust was a hard thing to give.

But maybe friendship is just like falling in love. You finally get to meet and get to know that particular person who caught your eyes. Sometimes you're too scared to plunge into it. But then that's why they call love as a leap of faith. Cause just like a force of nature that's unpredictable and unstoppable --- you still fall for it anyway.

Friendship too is a leap of faith. At least for me that's the case.

You can get to have a hundred of acquaintances or even a thousand of them. Totally possible. ---That's more like crushes or flings if we'd talk in the perspective of love. (Maybe that's the major difference between platonic and erotic love. You won't be charged of polygamy for having more than one friend) LOL.--- But there are only a chosen few who can gain your trust and whom you can trust in return.

Maybe in a way for single people like me, we could consider our friends as our love life --- So yeah, I fell in love with a couple of girls. =P I was, I am and will never mind falling in love with them all over again. And they are crazy enough to reciprocate it. And today we're celebrating our 7th year of friendship and love.

I may not be that lucky in terms of love but I'm blessed with a friendship some people would die for. Maybe I'm exaggerating, maybe I'm not. But if I'd be a maiden for life, (hopefully not. =P), I can still say that I have a set of friends I can grow old with.

To my JMVECK gang, I love you guys and though we're all living separate lives now, I know we'll be friends through infinity and beyond! (kung si Buzz Lightyear pa.) XD

I really miss you guys. Come and visit me here some time.^_^

Happy 7th!

♥Lots,
cue/pards/bata/tintin

noong kami ay bata pa =P

Divine Sisterhood of JMVECK

I think.

I have a question.

My pizza paused mid-air by his sudden change of expression --- he was attempting to look serious. I tried not to laugh. I shrugged it off and continued devouring the biggest slice of pizza I've ever had --- I was too hungry to care after all.

Do you like him a lot? And does this guy even have any idea how much you like him?

I almost choke --- Definitely. I never saw that coming.

But as usual I countered. Wrong question, I replied. Liked. And I don't know if he has any idea about it, I continued. As me and my friend talked about other things, the back of my mind is still wondering back to that question about you.

LikeD. I corrected him right away. Trying to force the issue that the real problem is the lack of letter D from the verb used instead of the more accurate Love. But I never mentioned it. Cause you see, I'd want to properly divide my life into the past, the present and the future. And obviously, I am trying so hard to categorize and make you as simply a part of my past.

I don't want you to be like a shadow always following me, always hanging around me, always haunting me every time I attempt to move on. I don't want to hope. I no longer want to be hurt. Because I was, I am...still...and the fact that you have no idea--- much more did not do it in purpose, doesn't cancel it out--- doesn't change anything.

I don't want to be in love with you anymore cause the truth is, it's easier for me to deal with you as the one who got away--- since that was your choice after all. Nobody forced you Not to choose me. But I should never allow you to be the one that never left my heart, never left my mind, just because I never even tried to forget.

I think I am better off this way. Alone. No please, don't pity me. The thing is, falling in love and trying to make a certain someone fall in love with you and then trying to stay in love and forcing yourself to fall out of love with someone who will never love you back is much much much more exhausting than being alone.

So yeah, I guess there are far more worse things than being alone.

I think,