Unsent Letter.

Dear John,

Somehow I found myself thinking of you tonight. It feels as if it's only yesterday that we first met each other (or more likely the first time I saw you) when in fact more than 5 years had already passed. As I come to think about it, I did not like you the first time I saw you. You were just some guy desperately trying to be funny teaching us absurd dance steps. Or so I thought. But then things are always bound to change right?=) I remember back then, I'm not the only girl who had seemed to like you. Everybody was fond of you. You were like the stage-actor and we were the audience. We were trance by your wit, leadership, humor and good looks. But after your show, everybody seemed to get back to their senses and cleared out while I was left alone still looking at you.

That's a cheesy comparison don't you think? Like you are some actor and I am one of your fans. haha. Can I think of something better than that? Well I guess you won't expect me to say that you were like my own personal brand of heroin. lol. But yes my very first addiction was named after you. And I stared. Related every love song to you. Nothing felt amiss whenever I'd get to see you. Then I started writing to comfort me while I wait. But like some things, you never came.

Love dazzles. Often it blinds. I knew from the start that people like you are not meant for people like me. After all, before our path crossed, you already have someone in your life. And it will remain that way like it was before. Like the way it's going to be. And just like what you said, you never expected you’ll hit it big time the first time, but you're one of those lucky bunch… a first and yes, the last… But can you forgive my selfishness when often times I'd hope that you'd find your self free to love again?

But yes I thank you actually. You helped me define love. I grew up defining love with you in the background. Somehow if I'd think about it, possibly, other people will think that what I felt for you was nothing more than an obsession or something brought about by my young heart. Yes I always have the youth-excuse.^_^ But something that they'd never understand, not even my friends, would be me choosing you of all people. I'm also wondering if you are not the way you are would I still feel the same way? I've met a couple of guys like you but nothing feels right with them. I mean, just in case I'm inclined to the likes of you. lol. But so far, you're the exemption.

I never felt the in dire need to give a detailed explanation just to reason out that what I felt for you was real. It's simply because I know in my heart how real it was.

I loved you. And though through time, grief and love lessens, I know that in my life time you will never be just a face in the crowd. And you know what? In all of my life's struggles, about my career, about life in its entirety, I know I will travel the same road if ever I'd be given a chance to relive life. Because I know I'd still find my self sitting beside you in one of those morning of January 2004. Because from then on I knew to my self that I had loved and I was beside a boy I know I will never forget.

Reuc