My pizza paused mid-air by his sudden change of expression --- he was attempting to look serious. I tried not to laugh. I shrugged it off and continued devouring the biggest slice of pizza I've ever had --- I was too hungry to care after all.
Do you like him a lot? And does this guy even have any idea how much you like him?
I almost choke --- Definitely. I never saw that coming.
But as usual I countered. Wrong question, I replied. Liked. And I don't know if he has any idea about it, I continued. As me and my friend talked about other things, the back of my mind is still wondering back to that question about you.
LikeD. I corrected him right away. Trying to force the issue that the real problem is the lack of letter D from the verb used instead of the more accurate Love. But I never mentioned it. Cause you see, I'd want to properly divide my life into the past, the present and the future. And obviously, I am trying so hard to categorize and make you as simply a part of my past.
I don't want you to be like a shadow always following me, always hanging around me, always haunting me every time I attempt to move on. I don't want to hope. I no longer want to be hurt. Because I was, I am...still...and the fact that you have no idea--- much more did not do it in purpose, doesn't cancel it out--- doesn't change anything.
I don't want to be in love with you anymore cause the truth is, it's easier for me to deal with you as the one who got away--- since that was your choice after all. Nobody forced you Not to choose me. But I should never allow you to be the one that never left my heart, never left my mind, just because I never even tried to forget.
I think I am better off this way. Alone. No please, don't pity me. The thing is, falling in love and trying to make a certain someone fall in love with you and then trying to stay in love and forcing yourself to fall out of love with someone who will never love you back is much much much more exhausting than being alone.
So yeah, I guess there are far more worse things than being alone.
I think,
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