Oh yes, I am definitely way back in to something I love: Work. Wish I could say that with full conviction.

I had a 5 days and 4 nights vacation and I have a lot of stories to tell. The story telling will take a little more time so for now I just want to make it known to my followers that hey, I am finally back!^_^

Haha.

Full details of the aforementioned vacation to follow. XD

It's the eve of my departure. haha. Yes I know. I've been rambling about it a lot of times now. It's pretty much obvious that I am very excited that finally I'd get to go home. I even have my shift time changed today to ensure that I won't be late in doing the check-in in the airport. And this shift is boring. haha. Or so far it's boring. I've been idle for almost an hour now and that left me with nothing to do but play with the notebooks. And of course my favorite application: Life Frame. And as usual, vanity strikes again.XD








wala lang talagang magawa.^_^

I can't help but smile.^_^

Smiling I guess is just a natural reaction. Or at least that holds true to me. And I am having more reasons to smile these past few days. But the main reason is, I'm going home this Saturday! And that thought alone can keep me up all day. I've been looking at my plane ticket for the nth time now making sure that I have the right schedule. Literally, all my bags are pack and ready to go.XD I miss my younger sister and younger brother so much and my mom of course. I'm looking forward to get to meet my college and high school friends again and my 5 days and 4 nights vacation schedule is now fully-booked. lol. But the main point is, I am going to devote myself as a good sister.^_^ And of course for the most part I just miss home.

Well there's another reason why this smile on my face seems pretty permanent these days but that would be a different story. I think that deserves a separate blog entry.=)

For now I just can't wait to fly myself back home.^_^

Ngiti pa lang ulam na.XD

You know the reason why more and more women are staying single these days?

There's a shortage of men.

When I say men I am referring to straight real men. And why the sudden shortage? Men these days seem to have gotten in to liking the thought of having a romantic relationship among themselves. And through the years they had emerge as a real tough competitors of women. And lately, they seem to be winning the battle.

Wait, Don't ever think I am a third sex/gay/homosexual hater. I have a lot of gay friends, some openly out, some still hiding but I love them all! Who wouldn't? They're the life of the party, extra-multi-talented and most of them are extra-good looking as well! Yung tipong sayang...ang gwapo pa naman. That you'd think everything about him is perfect. Sad thing is, the only imperfection is well, he'll never get into liking a girl like you because at the end of the day he'd still prefer a man.

Why am I bringing up this topic? Obviously because I watched the movie In My Life last Saturday. Although during the time that the actors were still promoting their movie, they said that the movie is more about the life of the three individuals more than them being partners. But we can not disregard the fact that people are more apt to be more interested with John Lloyd and Luis being an on-screen lover. Just imagine two good looking guys kissing each other. It's...Oh never mind.

A quick review about the movie, Vilma Santos portrays the role of Shirley, a typical librarian: stern, strict and aging. She flew to New York to start something new with her life with her son and her son's partner. Luis Manzano plays Mark, the son of Shirley and a lover of Noel played by John Lloyd Cruz. There's no question about the acting prowess of Vilma Santos. With John Lloyd, the way he acted is definitely very convincing. He would make you doubt his sexuality. Good thing it's just a movie! As for Luis, glad he stripped off his comedic personality for a while. It paid off. The only thing I can complain about the movie is it's ending. I don't like the way it ended. Although it was definitely unexpected I just wish it ended differently. But the movie in its entirety is still good.


Well, there's really no formula in creating a relationship right? People like Mark and Noel from the movie are definitely created for each other. Although if you are a moralist, a traditional Christian you'd say that a relationship like theirs is never right to begin with. But who are we to judge them? If they love each other, then who are we to stop them?

It's one of the hundred reasons I could think of why it's never possible. Something to remind me why there can never be an 'us'. A reason to believe why people like him is not made for people like me.

Ooopps. Sorry I'm deviating from the topic.^_^

Anyway, going back, just don't expect that this movie will be about homosexuality. It's definitely not. Is this a movie about finding yourself? Not at all as well. Personally, this movie simply affirms the notion that the only thing that is straight these days is a ruler. lol. My friend might refute that and say that nope, there are still straight men these days. The only problem is, straight men these days are already taken. So there's really a shortage of real men huh? haha.

But from a girl's point of view, it could definitely make you envious sometimes. Lalo pag na-isip mo na, "buti pa sila nakahanap ng makakapareha."

Haha.

Out with the sour graping. Anyway, here's the movie poster.

new poster?XD

Rating: ★★★☆☆

I was not ignoring it. I was/am trying to think of the right, sensible answer, the right response with out me sounding too defensive, with out me sounding idealistic, with out me sounding sarcastic. But I guess whatever my response may be, it's still bound to sound that way.

So.

Here it goes.

I am all for that guy-accidentally-bump-upon-girl-and-takes-her-breath-away-and-maybe-it's-love-at-first-sight-that-lead-to-an-everlasting-love-from-their-very-coincidental-train-ride love story. Maybe I could blame myself from watching a lot of romantic movies and from reading a handful of novels. Those stories that could make me wishy-washy-and-put-me-in-lovey-dovey-haze-mood hoping I'd find myself in the middle of one of those fairy-tale moments. Who wouldn't want to experience that anyway? But so far, I haven't found myself sitting by the train station crossing my fingers that Mr. Right will stumble upon me and fall in love head over heels over me ala Ethan Hawke. Maybe I am still sane enough not to try and anyway, there's no train station here in the city in the first place.

So my point is, Yes, I've been waiting for that Mr. Right to come along in my life for a long time now. That is so true. That although I am already big enough not to believe in fairytales, I still do believe in eternal love. My mom and dad had been married for like forever and that alone is enough proof for me that there's really indeed a happy ever after.

But I beg to disagree.

No, I am not at all afraid to discover if a guy is the right one or not when someone does come along my way.

Well, it had always been this way. Everything will still boils down to this: would you go after the love of your life or the guy in whose life you are the dream?

Tricky isn't it? But yes I know we got to make the choice and yes unfortunately we can never negotiate.

Personally, I never try to.

Well, for the most part it's because I am not given much choices but that set aside, it's because I always knew what choice I wanted to make. And I did made the choice but oh boy what a choice it was!

With regards to the question what does he need to do to make me see? I have to borrow the Oracle's word again: I will just know it, through and through.

Yes I know how that sounds.

But that's also true.

It's surprising how quickly I get over him
So Improbable
Like nobody could ever know
But when I asked myself if this is true
I realize
I am fooling around.
And I can't seem to understand
Why my love
Was never meant to be.

I'm not trying to be melodramatic. I simply woke up this afternoon alone. My room mate went home to her province so that left me with our place all by myself. Our room was a mess. And when I was fixing/cleaning our place I finally noticed my guitar sitting in the corner and I realized it had been sitting there for months now, unused, the cover's all dusty and badly needed some tuning. When was the last time I opened my guitar case and struck up some songs from it? I think that was back in February. I brought it here in Cebu so I could have something to do during past time but it actually seems like I brought it here to fester. So with a guilty feeling I cleaned it up, did some tuning, strum some notes and tried to sing along.

The lines above are some verse in the first ever composition I had. Who would have thought that I'd get to create my own music? And I actually almost forgot that once in my life I've been tagged as a song-writer. But that was back in college when it was needed for me to pass a certain subject and when well, the feeling of inspiration was still alive. Right now, I don't think I could still do it again.

I've kept my compositions in a journal a friend had given me as a Christmas present. I found a note posted in one of the pages. It goes: "I know someday I'd get to read/sing these again. And maybe I will laugh to myself thinking how cheesy the lines are, thinking what the hell do I know about music and maybe I'd even find them absurd. And that I was just some girl with some good intentions buried in the detritus of life, and all these will become ironic jokes for me. So maybe then instead of me dwelling in the story behind the music and lyrics, I'd simply smile and say that this is just some product of my young love, of my young mind. So maybe then someday, I'd get to sing them again. And maybe then I will believe in them again."

I don't know if the someday I was referring to is today. Maybe today is still too early knowing that letting go is still searing me a great deal. Oh scratch that part. But there's nothing wrong if it's really today. After all, I did laugh, I did find the lines cheesy, but the words I've chosen, I am still bound to believe them. ^_^

emo-emohan o sadyang nakatulog lamang?lol.

I had a date last Wednesday.^_^

That certainly doesn't sound plausible right? lol. But if a date is defined as a meeting arranged in advance then I certainly had one last Wednesday. That is easy to remember, September 09, 2009. 09/09/09. Lucky 9!!!! And who was the lucky guy? None other than Mr. John Lloyd Cruz himself.XD

haha. Alright. He, Luis Manzano and Nikki Valdez came here in Cebu last Wednesday for some mall tour for their upcoming movie In My Life. Of course I grabbed the opportunity and made sure that I was in the the front area. He was so close! And he waved at me when I was getting his video.♥♥♥

For this upcoming movie, JLC is going to portray a totally different role from what he had before. I was thinking that I don't think it will be a good idea for me to watch the movie because I know it will just remind me of something but I think I'll just go ahead and watch it. I have to. I promised him that I will watch his movie so I better keep my promise. haha.

he's waving at me!♥♥♥

ingat!^_^

Lloydi, katulad ng inawat mo noong Miyerkules: Adik sayo. Awit sa akin. Nilang sawa na sa 'ting mga kwentong marathon. Tungkol sayo at sa ligayangiyong hatid sa aking buhaytuloy ang hanap ng isipan koy ikaw.

Hinahanap-hanap kita.^_^

I like baseball, movies, good clothes, whiskey, fast cars... and you. What else you need to know?

- John Dillinger

I was able to finally watch Public Enemies but I'm not in a mood to write a detailed review of the movie for now. I'll just edit this if my brain's more active. But I just love above quotation. What a pick-up line.^_^

Rating: ★★★☆☆

I've been turning off my cellphones for two consecutive nights now. Though it's not part of the company code and policies, it had been a tradition that if you don't want to be called for overtime during your rest days, then turn off your phones. And so I did. I think I've been working longer than usual for the last past weeks or ever since I was transferred to this new account. And I miss having two consecutive days off. And more than anything else, I think I badly need some rest. I still have three new books left unread and a couple of movies to be watched from the DVD my co-worker had given me.

I know I am good at work. That's something that I really don't want to get in to my head. Sometimes it's rather frightening to know that you seem to be on top of anything you'd want to be. I only got 4 days of training for the new account. I was given a week to get a feel of it and on the first week that I was assessed, I aced it. I even got better scores than those who we're in the new account ahead of me. Alright, I think it's starting to get in to my head so I'd better stop talking about it. Keep your feet grounded as what they would say.

I guess what I'm really trying to say (that's a line from a song right?haha) is that work is essential and so is rest. Although since I am alone here, single and with no complications, that makes me pretty much available for call of duty. But I too need rest and I am having some for this week. Maybe next week, I'd say yes to overtime again.lol

As for the title, I read that somewhere and I like it. When I searched who's quote it is, it's from Lena Horne. As to who is Lena Horne, you go find it out your self. XD But yes it doesn't have any relation or what so ever in this post's topic. Or maybe there's an underlying truth that I am certainly smarter than those who hired me. Ooooopppppsssss!!!!! I hope my boss won't get to read this. ^_^

Anyway, let's take it from Jane Austen: There is nothing like employment, active indispensable employment, for relieving sorrow.


Oh yes, Nothing nothing nothing indeed.

I've recently ended my self in a middle of a deal with some of my office-mates. The deal would be for me to have my status changed from single to I'm in a relationship before the company Christmas party or else I have to treat them for some dinner over a nice, cozy, high-end restaurant. I tried to disagree of course because the time-frame is just too short. Or I mean, there's really no time-frame in involving yourself in a relationship right? But according to them 4 months is more than enough for me to have a boy-friend. Okay, I think I'd better start saving now.-_-

I don't know if I have to laugh or be pleased by the utmost want and interest of people here in the office for me to fall in love/ to be in a relationship/ to have a boyfriend. They sometimes wonder if I've ever been in love at all. And when I would reply that I was in love with the same guy for 5 years, I wonder if they'd regard that as a joke or would they realize that there's some truth in it?

One colleague here asked me if I'd want to meet a guy from a band. She said her boyfriend is the drummer and if I want I could have the bassist. Wow, she makes it sound so easy. But blind dating? Nah, that is totaly not my thing.

In the recently ended inter-callcenter indoor games, I've met some boys who had somehow taken fancy over me possibly because I was the only single girl who made it through the competition. One even asked me out twice now which believe it or not I had declined. Although of course I am impress because he had done his research well. But I'm not mentioning that by the way because I want to be smug that I could still catch some guy's attention. These are just premise in my conclusion that I think there's something wrong with me. I mean I have a lot of chances already of getting my self attached but why am I keeping my self away? And why did I thought of that face when a guy asked me if I am still available and I replied no? I think I am crazy. But I don't know maybe I am so use to being alone that I just can't see myself walking side by side with a guy (though I've been dreaming about it). But now that reality is presenting itself, I just can't say yes. Sheessh. I think I am confusing my self. I think there's a reason why I am alone all these years. Maybe I am better off this way.

Sigh.

Love is a leap of faith. But right now, I guess I am not yet inclined (again) to jump.