one lazy afternoon.

It's surprising how quickly I get over him
So Improbable
Like nobody could ever know
But when I asked myself if this is true
I realize
I am fooling around.
And I can't seem to understand
Why my love
Was never meant to be.

I'm not trying to be melodramatic. I simply woke up this afternoon alone. My room mate went home to her province so that left me with our place all by myself. Our room was a mess. And when I was fixing/cleaning our place I finally noticed my guitar sitting in the corner and I realized it had been sitting there for months now, unused, the cover's all dusty and badly needed some tuning. When was the last time I opened my guitar case and struck up some songs from it? I think that was back in February. I brought it here in Cebu so I could have something to do during past time but it actually seems like I brought it here to fester. So with a guilty feeling I cleaned it up, did some tuning, strum some notes and tried to sing along.

The lines above are some verse in the first ever composition I had. Who would have thought that I'd get to create my own music? And I actually almost forgot that once in my life I've been tagged as a song-writer. But that was back in college when it was needed for me to pass a certain subject and when well, the feeling of inspiration was still alive. Right now, I don't think I could still do it again.

I've kept my compositions in a journal a friend had given me as a Christmas present. I found a note posted in one of the pages. It goes: "I know someday I'd get to read/sing these again. And maybe I will laugh to myself thinking how cheesy the lines are, thinking what the hell do I know about music and maybe I'd even find them absurd. And that I was just some girl with some good intentions buried in the detritus of life, and all these will become ironic jokes for me. So maybe then instead of me dwelling in the story behind the music and lyrics, I'd simply smile and say that this is just some product of my young love, of my young mind. So maybe then someday, I'd get to sing them again. And maybe then I will believe in them again."

I don't know if the someday I was referring to is today. Maybe today is still too early knowing that letting go is still searing me a great deal. Oh scratch that part. But there's nothing wrong if it's really today. After all, I did laugh, I did find the lines cheesy, but the words I've chosen, I am still bound to believe them. ^_^

emo-emohan o sadyang nakatulog lamang?lol.