I've recently ended my self in a middle of a deal with some of my office-mates. The deal would be for me to have my status changed from single to I'm in a relationship before the company Christmas party or else I have to treat them for some dinner over a nice, cozy, high-end restaurant. I tried to disagree of course because the time-frame is just too short. Or I mean, there's really no time-frame in involving yourself in a relationship right? But according to them 4 months is more than enough for me to have a boy-friend. Okay, I think I'd better start saving now.-_-
I don't know if I have to laugh or be pleased by the utmost want and interest of people here in the office for me to fall in love/ to be in a relationship/ to have a boyfriend. They sometimes wonder if I've ever been in love at all. And when I would reply that I was in love with the same guy for 5 years, I wonder if they'd regard that as a joke or would they realize that there's some truth in it?
One colleague here asked me if I'd want to meet a guy from a band. She said her boyfriend is the drummer and if I want I could have the bassist. Wow, she makes it sound so easy. But blind dating? Nah, that is totaly not my thing.
In the recently ended inter-callcenter indoor games, I've met some boys who had somehow taken fancy over me possibly because I was the only single girl who made it through the competition. One even asked me out twice now which believe it or not I had declined. Although of course I am impress because he had done his research well. But I'm not mentioning that by the way because I want to be smug that I could still catch some guy's attention. These are just premise in my conclusion that I think there's something wrong with me. I mean I have a lot of chances already of getting my self attached but why am I keeping my self away? And why did I thought of that face when a guy asked me if I am still available and I replied no? I think I am crazy. But I don't know maybe I am so use to being alone that I just can't see myself walking side by side with a guy (though I've been dreaming about it). But now that reality is presenting itself, I just can't say yes. Sheessh. I think I am confusing my self. I think there's a reason why I am alone all these years. Maybe I am better off this way.
Sigh.
Love is a leap of faith. But right now, I guess I am not yet inclined (again) to jump.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
27 comments:
maybe your friends just want to see you happy, in love...love is a beautiful thing...it is a sight to behold...a woman in love is like a flower in bloom...
Maybe you havent found the right man for you. When you find him, you'll know. Just like what the Oracle told Neo, "being the One is like being in love...no one can tell you, you just know you are."
But what if he's found you? What does he need to do to make you see?
And they really should stop saying falling in love like you had no say in it. It is a choice. Like the the leap. But the more you think about it the more reasons you find not to do it. There's really no other way but to hold your breath & take the plunge. Then you realize your fears were unfounded. Its not so bad after all.
Of course,take your time. The cliff will always be there
i agree, anonymous.
May I please know who is Anonymous 1 and Anonymous 2?^_^
to Anonymous 1...well said. Actually, I don't know what to say. You hit the mark.
Still no Mr. Right.
But 'bout these questions: "But what if he's found you? What does he need to do to make you see?" I'll get back to that if I could think of a sensible answer.
thanks. appreciate it!
What comprises a Mr.Right? Intelligent,witty, a good conversationalist, thoughtful, sensitive to your needs, poetic, not afraid to show his feelings, understanding, loving affectionate, and on top of that good looking, sweet smelling, physically attractive straight male. Its a tall order, huh? I doubt any girl would say no to even one of these traits.
But was it Ally McBeal who said that you all set rules & standards for the one to love, when you know the one you love will always be an exception to the rule? Or something to that effect.
Why did you say no to that guy who asked you out? Why dont you give yourself one chance to go out on a date with him? Instead of pouring yourself in front of the computer, have a real conversation for a change. Go find a good book together. Sit down & enjoy a cup of coffee. Do the things you dream about, even if its just a quiet stroll on the park. For some things to happen, you actually have to act on it, instead of simply writing about it.
And dont worry if you're scared, maybe he's scared too. For some guys it takes just about everything to muster the courage to ask a girl out. For fear of being rejected. Some guys are clueless, too, you know.
Go ahead.Wear your blue jeans & sneakers. If he doesnt like you for who you are he doesnt deserve one bit of your attention. And he turns out to be rude or boring or totally not your type, well...at least you gave him a chance, right?
Who knows, he might turn out to be that guy who would look you in the eye & see you for who you really are. Someone special.
Anonymous One
My gawd, Anonymous One, you beat me at that.
Pards, take his/her advice. If the guy turns out to be a major no-no, then, as I would always say, charge it to experience. At least you've been out on a date. ^_~ (Unlike me. I should go to Cebu. Guys there are brave-er.)
Ako ni, Anonymous Two.
So, Anonymous One, you watch Ally McBeal eh? Are you a guy/girl/she-man/he-man? Just asking.
Pards,
Im a guy. Girl-watching, MMA-loving, rugged-looking heterosexual male. No, I never watched a single episode of Ally McBeal. Read that quote somewhere, long time ago. Twas good. So it kinda stuck.
So pards, are you a single female? Im a single male. ;-p
- Anonymous ONe
hmmmm.... maybe you two should meet each other. XD
I was simply responding to a question, Tin. I think that was the polite thing to do.
Anonymous One.
Ehem. Why the sudden shift towards me eh? Last time I checked, you are the one with the deadline, not me. XD
Anonymous, my gender's undecided yet. There.
Ti Pards, siya gid? ^_~
i think Tin is being defensive...trying to find escape at the first sign of danger...:-p
Anonymous ONe
haha. what's wrong with you two seeing each other? I don't see anything wrong with that.
But Anonymous One,
- sorry, that's so flippant of me.^_^
Pards,
- lol, gender's undecided? hahaha. crazy. and I don't care about the deadline, you know I've always been the procrastinator. ^_^
no worries, Tin. I myself had been accused of being blunt in the past
Anonymous One
Pards, Anonymous One is polite. ^_^ What do you know.... We're done with stalling (at least I am. It's just that the slowpokes are taking too much time), and I never thought that you were a procrastinator.
Anonymous One, you mentioned "first sign of danger," so you think this guy who asked my dear heartbroken heartbreaker out on a date is dangerous?
It sure is a funny way to call getting-to-know. First sign of danger.
@Pards,
haha. he said he is not afraid of being hold-up at dawn because he looks like one of them. So that makes him more dangerous. lol. Oh wait, he is the anonymous one so we really can't tell, can we?XD
@Anonymous One
are you the one who I think you are?^_^
Im too busy smiling I cant begin to write. (smiles again)
Interesting choice of words, huh? Would it have made a difference if I said " Tin is afraid of her own shadow"?
Tin has been pining for that Mr. Right to come into her life fo so long that when a guy does come along she gets too terrified she runs away. Its like she afraid to discover if that guy is the right one or not.
Simply said, she's running away from the slightest danger of finding the right guy. Or any guy for that matter.
Am I right, Tin? I sincerely hope not. Otherwise what a sad & disappointed boy our guy is going to be.
Well, as David Gale said, "Be careful what you wish for-not because you might get it, but- because you are condemned not to want it anymore once you get it." Or something to that effect.
I disagree with that one, too.
Getting curious now, are we? Well, I chose anonymity precisely because it grants us the opportunity to know each other ( that includes you, pards) free from bias and prejudgement. And so what if a guy looks like a hoodlum? I always believed that girls, ehrm, women preferred a man's intellect & character than his looks. But I can be wrong.
And if you're right about who you think I am, would you go out with me? Maybe share a cup of coffe. One moment, ala Nescafe. :-p
I raise my hand, for I like men with intel and personality! And I'd readily give up looks and hotness for a man with an effortlessly superb sense of humor. Just don't give me Gerard Butler, because he's my weakness.
Pards, I'm starting to like Anonymous One na (says this line as if she was Kris Aquino). And you've found your match. You suggest retreat, he yells attack!
And yes, she'd love to have coffee with you, Anonymous One.
haha. really now? you are deciding for me? you think so Pards? lol. Well, if he would beat me in a game of chess maybe I'd reconsider.XD
Thanks a lot for the vote of confidence, pards...Pity it is not your word that really matters in this case. And it's curious that your friend has suddenly looked the other way, ignored a direct question, and started to refer to me in a third person perspective as if I am not present.
So, is that Gerard Butler in 300 that makes you weak, or that guitar-playing Scottish bloke in that movie with the 2 time Oscar award winning actress whatshername again? The girl that played The Million Dollar Baby opposite Clint Eastwood & Morgan Freeman. The Next Karate Kid that played Boys DOnt Cry. I think she was in that Alaska movie in which with Al Pacino played a homicidal cop & Robin Williams was a sick child molester. She kinda looks like that chick in Alias although the latter looks infinitely hotter. Whatsher name again?
Well, anyway, back to Gerry. What's about him that you love? I really cant remember the title of that movie. Sorry, chick flicks tend to dull my memory. But you should watch it.
Well, until next time Pards. See yah!
Anonymous one.
I did not ignore your question. If you are who I think you are (in which the probability that I am wrong is 0.00000001%) then you should have had a clue on what my answer is.XD
Pards,
Have you watched Ugly Truth na? It's set to be released together with In My Life here in Cebu on the 16th. I hope when I get back home Gamer will be shown there in Bacolod. You can have Gerard, I'll have Michael. ^_^
he wasn't a guitar-playing scottish bloke. he was irish. irish. big diff. XD that would be hilary swank. and alias girl is jennifer garner.
gerry? it's p.s. i love you, by the way. well, gerry's nice. his accent is music to my ears. and gawd, i love his smile. ^_^ and those eyes...we can go on forever.
[sh*t, pards. daw ginbasa ya akon blog haw. not that i made libak or anything.]
pards, haven't seen it yet. but i'm watching it for sure. san-o ka puli? tots, texted me today about the *toooot* update us asap. thank you. ^_^ way to go, girl! ahahahaha.
Tin,
I apologize if I was in a less genial mood yesterday. I should have answered, but "Ive beaten you in chess already. Twice!"
Hope I made up for it. :-p
One Not So Anonymous
I think you too are correct. According to imdb, Gerard is Scottish, but is of partial Irish ancestry.
@pards, Flight sched is on the 26th, AM. Let's go out ha? I hope Dave can come along too. Of course Tots will surely come. Also Olan, Eds, Pete, Julius, San-san and if ara sila Bords and Tina mas sadya.^_^
@the not so Anonymous one anymore,
no prob. but pinagbigyan lang kita kasi ayokong masira reputation mo sa chess kaya nagpatalo ako.haha
And then maybe next time you'd write your comment you will use your blogger account na.XD
Tin...I dont know how to post a comment using my own account. You already know the link. Its quickreflex.blogspot.com for the benefit of somebody who would be interested in checking it out, namely....
Pards...I didnt check your blog, I didnt know I can do that. Not before you mentioned it,anyway. And quess what I found out...
Tin is in love with someone already. Its not suprising. We all have our ties with the past. We all have to live with that. I myself have so much history but sometimes it feels like it all happened yesterday.
Whats important is that were not burdened by our past. Instead lets gaze upon the horizon as a new day unfolds and be inspired by the future. I have a feeling its going to be a wonderful future.
Okay. I didnt know its going to do that. Ask me to log-in using my own account. (smiles) Well, Tin. I granted your request. (smiles again)
anonymous one (got used to this name) hehehe. i guess i was paranoid. i saw this line from what you posted and boom! paranoia attack. my bad.
*hides forever*
pards...^_^ -_- :(
When I began posting my comments here, I did so with best intentions. My first two posts were truly inspired. There were words begging to be said, I just wrote them. And I did so with all honesty.
Still, i feel like Ive stolen something from you. This used to be an avenue for you to share your thoughts with your closest friends. Not for uninvited strangers. Now you cant go back to writing like you did before, without that thought in the back of your mind that someone else might be reading it. That takes away something from you, doesnt it? That freedom to say what you truly feel.
Sadly, there is no return to innocence.
For that I offer my sincerest apologies.
I don't know where all this will lead too. I think I jumped without thinking. I do know that great expectations often lead to great heartache. Yet from experience, I know that has not prevented me from dreaming. Fools rush in where angels fear to thread, they say. Maybe Im being a fool. Only time will tell.
ps.
When I said, "You're too smart. Some guys are intimidated by that" I meant it as a compliment. And you already know that.
But you failed to write what I said afterwards. "SOME GUYS," I said. And of course you also know what the means.
Kas,
Seriously, I don't think you need to apologize.
Firstly, this is a blog ---- an online journal. That goes with-out saying that I am very much aware that whatever I have written and will write in this site is for public consumption. Whether I know you or not doesn't matter. As a blogger, the more reader I have, the better. At least I know that someone actually cares to read what I've written.
Second thing, believe me, this is not the only venue for me to share my thoughts with my closest friends. We do have our way of communicating and its much better than this blog site. And I could have chosen anonymity in the first place but my blogsite url is even my real name right?And what's the point of writing if no one will read what you have written? So I do know in the back of my mind that there's definitely a big possibility that it'll not only be my friends who would get to read what I have written. Strangers are very much welcome here.
Third thing, of course I don't intend to generalize men. My apologies then for not including the word "SOME". And I know you meant it as a compliment.
Thank you.
Leave a Comment