Doing just fine.

I ought to write about this tomorrow. When I already have enough sleep. When I can say that I am fully calm --- when the reality had already sink in. But then again, it doesn't really matter if I write about it today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. After all that's about it.

Doesn't change anything.

I'm deeply saddened today. Guess there's no other way to describe it. Plain and simple: I just feel sad. You might be wondering why. After-all if you know me you can hardly see me frown. I remember one time an office mate asked me if I've ever been angry. She said it's hard for her to imagine me in such state. I had taken that as a compliment. At the same time that got me thinking: is this really the real me?

But I don't want to talk about that (at least for now). There were just some recent unexpected happenings in the office that made me sad---depressed in away. And though I really can't give out the full details, the gist of the story is, I've lost some office friends along the way. Let's just say that starting today, I will never see some of those familiar faces I've shared my nights and days with for months now and even for some---for almost a year now.

The fact that I was one of those who were "lucky" to be saved first doesn't alleviate the feeling of sadness. Maybe I just got to consider this as one of those "experience-is-what-you-get-when-you-did-not-get-what-you-wanted-lesson". An eye-opener/a reminder to hold on to what you have right now, to cherish it, to take care of it, to nurture it...cause you'll never know, tomorrow you might lost it all: may it be your special friend, a favorite toy, or even your job.

Can I consider myself lucky that I had others experience that for me in order to realize it? Will I consider myself fortunate enough that I'm not of one those who learned the lesson the hard way? Maybe. Maybe not.

Sometimes, there's just really no easy way to compromise.

And yeah, me feeling sad doesn't change anything anyway.

As usual, I'll just get by the thought that this too shall pass and that everything ends up fine most of the time anyway.

And that for the most part, I am fine.

I think.