Doing just fine.

I ought to write about this tomorrow. When I already have enough sleep. When I can say that I am fully calm --- when the reality had already sink in. But then again, it doesn't really matter if I write about it today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. After all that's about it.

Doesn't change anything.

I'm deeply saddened today. Guess there's no other way to describe it. Plain and simple: I just feel sad. You might be wondering why. After-all if you know me you can hardly see me frown. I remember one time an office mate asked me if I've ever been angry. She said it's hard for her to imagine me in such state. I had taken that as a compliment. At the same time that got me thinking: is this really the real me?

But I don't want to talk about that (at least for now). There were just some recent unexpected happenings in the office that made me sad---depressed in away. And though I really can't give out the full details, the gist of the story is, I've lost some office friends along the way. Let's just say that starting today, I will never see some of those familiar faces I've shared my nights and days with for months now and even for some---for almost a year now.

The fact that I was one of those who were "lucky" to be saved first doesn't alleviate the feeling of sadness. Maybe I just got to consider this as one of those "experience-is-what-you-get-when-you-did-not-get-what-you-wanted-lesson". An eye-opener/a reminder to hold on to what you have right now, to cherish it, to take care of it, to nurture it...cause you'll never know, tomorrow you might lost it all: may it be your special friend, a favorite toy, or even your job.

Can I consider myself lucky that I had others experience that for me in order to realize it? Will I consider myself fortunate enough that I'm not of one those who learned the lesson the hard way? Maybe. Maybe not.

Sometimes, there's just really no easy way to compromise.

And yeah, me feeling sad doesn't change anything anyway.

As usual, I'll just get by the thought that this too shall pass and that everything ends up fine most of the time anyway.

And that for the most part, I am fine.

I think.

Still.

It just suddenly hit me.

Or maybe I was just really felling sappy since yesterday. Or maybe it was just because of the dream I had. More often, we are told that our dream usually is part of our subconscious mind --- it shows us the things we don't want to happen and would like to happen. On my part --- it's the latter.

It's pretty crazy. I made a declaration to myself that I have no time for love. Which of course is not really a good line to say especially if you've read the book: The Secret and you know enough that the Universe works under one law: Law of Attraction. So declaring that line to yourself is like wishing over to a genie and the genie's answer is always: "Yes, your wish is my command." --- And so love will indeed have no time for you.

But then, maybe the declaration was with no conviction at all. It was just something I'd like myself to believe in. An escape from reality. That's why I haven't written anything about it. That's why I haven't written something that would reveal my inner most thoughts---inner most feelings. That's why I've only been writing movie reviews for the last couple of weeks.

That's why I haven't written anything about you.

Cause I know the moment I will start writing about you (again) would be the day I'd finally accept that yes I still do.

And that yes, I am still not over you.

Bring Alex Lambert Back

It's been 3 nights since the last elimination and the time when the Top 12 for this season's American Idol was announced. But I can't still get over it. More like an over-extended hangover of the shocking results. It was shocking because of one, those who made a total fool of themselves from their last performances made it and two, Alex Lambert got voted off the competition. I was confident that he will definitely make it. After all, his performance garnered high ratings and good reviews. But apparently America don't know how to recognize talent when they see one. Alex Lambert definitely is one talented young man. And the announcement of him not making it to the top 12 was definitely unexpected. What a shocker.

I'm not trying to be a racist here. But then again, it's the people living in America who can vote for who's staying and who's not. Pardon me then for generalizing it. I just think that it's such a shame that they voted off someone who is definitely more talented than most of the contestants that made it to the top 12. It's sad, depressing when such talent will be left unrecognized. Such a waste. Let me quote my friend Julius' post in twitter: It's disheartening to see talented people like Alex Lambert and Lilly Scott get eliminated in a TALENT SHOW like American Idol.

But as usual, there's the it's not yet your time, when God closes a door he opens a window and God has better plans for you pep talks that we can use as words of comforts. There's nothing wrong about those statements of course. But if there's something that we should be in talk right now, that would be for us to Vote for Alex to be back on the show. He's the excellent choice for a wild card entry! If only there's one like last year. =( #BringAlexBack (Trending topic in Twitter)

We want Alex Back.

And to Alex, though your AI days might already be over, your talent is greatly recognize. You got a fan right here from half-way around the world.

so sad.T_T

but keep on smiling.^_^

aw. so cute.^_^

who said that "1" is the loneliest number?

This is technically just the 3rd post for this blog but here I am complaining to myself how hard it is to maintain a blog site like this. As much as possible, I want to post as often as I can but sometimes of course, I just can't find the right sensible topics to start with.

If you're wondering by the way why I did not start this blog post with "This part of my life blah blah blah" I realized time will come that my readers will find that part boring and so maybe I'd just select those entries where I'd begin with that line.

Oh crap. Here I am and my very much random ramblings again.

Actually, I got nothing to complain about this day. I won't complain that I am alone again at this time of the day. After all, I'm pretty much, very much use to this kind of scenario: me watching movies alone; me window shopping alone; me eating alone; me drinking that medium sized coffee alone. One more realization and you'd hear me singing, "Till now...I always get by on my Own". Yes I am not complaining. -_-

I remembered writing an article about "Sad People Need Friends Too". In that article I pointed out how we all need friends but it will be during our saddest moments that we'd need these so called friends of ours even more. Well, I would definitely appreciate if a friend would keep in touch with me today.

Nah...this too shall pass.