Falling in love with JMVECK.

They say that the yardstick of friendship is not the amount of time you had been together nor how much time you had spent with them, it's how you had spent those days with them. That just like a tree which is not measured on how tall it could be, but instead based on how deep the roots had grown. But if you have that kind of friendship whose roots had grown deeper but had still lasted through the years --- tested through time --- what more could you ask for?

Personally, I never asked for it. Ironically, I was the type of person who had always had my guard on all the time --- Trust was a hard thing to give.

But maybe friendship is just like falling in love. You finally get to meet and get to know that particular person who caught your eyes. Sometimes you're too scared to plunge into it. But then that's why they call love as a leap of faith. Cause just like a force of nature that's unpredictable and unstoppable --- you still fall for it anyway.

Friendship too is a leap of faith. At least for me that's the case.

You can get to have a hundred of acquaintances or even a thousand of them. Totally possible. ---That's more like crushes or flings if we'd talk in the perspective of love. (Maybe that's the major difference between platonic and erotic love. You won't be charged of polygamy for having more than one friend) LOL.--- But there are only a chosen few who can gain your trust and whom you can trust in return.

Maybe in a way for single people like me, we could consider our friends as our love life --- So yeah, I fell in love with a couple of girls. =P I was, I am and will never mind falling in love with them all over again. And they are crazy enough to reciprocate it. And today we're celebrating our 7th year of friendship and love.

I may not be that lucky in terms of love but I'm blessed with a friendship some people would die for. Maybe I'm exaggerating, maybe I'm not. But if I'd be a maiden for life, (hopefully not. =P), I can still say that I have a set of friends I can grow old with.

To my JMVECK gang, I love you guys and though we're all living separate lives now, I know we'll be friends through infinity and beyond! (kung si Buzz Lightyear pa.) XD

I really miss you guys. Come and visit me here some time.^_^

Happy 7th!

♥Lots,
cue/pards/bata/tintin

noong kami ay bata pa =P

Divine Sisterhood of JMVECK

I think.

I have a question.

My pizza paused mid-air by his sudden change of expression --- he was attempting to look serious. I tried not to laugh. I shrugged it off and continued devouring the biggest slice of pizza I've ever had --- I was too hungry to care after all.

Do you like him a lot? And does this guy even have any idea how much you like him?

I almost choke --- Definitely. I never saw that coming.

But as usual I countered. Wrong question, I replied. Liked. And I don't know if he has any idea about it, I continued. As me and my friend talked about other things, the back of my mind is still wondering back to that question about you.

LikeD. I corrected him right away. Trying to force the issue that the real problem is the lack of letter D from the verb used instead of the more accurate Love. But I never mentioned it. Cause you see, I'd want to properly divide my life into the past, the present and the future. And obviously, I am trying so hard to categorize and make you as simply a part of my past.

I don't want you to be like a shadow always following me, always hanging around me, always haunting me every time I attempt to move on. I don't want to hope. I no longer want to be hurt. Because I was, I am...still...and the fact that you have no idea--- much more did not do it in purpose, doesn't cancel it out--- doesn't change anything.

I don't want to be in love with you anymore cause the truth is, it's easier for me to deal with you as the one who got away--- since that was your choice after all. Nobody forced you Not to choose me. But I should never allow you to be the one that never left my heart, never left my mind, just because I never even tried to forget.

I think I am better off this way. Alone. No please, don't pity me. The thing is, falling in love and trying to make a certain someone fall in love with you and then trying to stay in love and forcing yourself to fall out of love with someone who will never love you back is much much much more exhausting than being alone.

So yeah, I guess there are far more worse things than being alone.

I think,

I L♥ve Capoeira

I've been under a lot of stress lately. With my company losing our biggest account, me being transferred to a different account, retraining and refresher classes, me being transferred for the first time in the morning shift after 2 years of graveyard shifts, Dad's phone call, CISCO classes --- too many changes, too many things to do --- sometimes I don't know if I simply just have a little free time to spare or if time simply flies too fast for me.

There's only one thing that's keeping me sane these days --- something that's making my stressful life less stressful --- my capoeira classes.

Yep, I enrolled myself in some Brazilian martial arts class (just in case you are not familiar with it). I joined the said class just for the fun of it since my office friend Sue seems to be too eager to have her self enrolled. I remember that time when she invited me to join. I said I'll think about it. She replied I should not think about it, I just got to go there and just sign myself up. I thought maybe she's right. I've been over thinking things lately and so maybe I need something that would require me less thinking --- so capoeira class it is.

And I am having a blast! I'm done with my first month and I gained a few pounds shortly after cause I got my appetite back. It just feels good to be physically active --- like sweat all I want --- stay healthy --- and yeah learn acrobatics. =P I never thought time will eventually come that I'd get to learn acrobatics.

Just imagine me doing this:


or this...


and this...


LOL.

Unfortunately, I still can't do those stunts above. Those are shots of my Instructor Jensen by the way. But watch-out---I'll eventually will. =P Can't wait for January. It'll be my capoeira Batizado (baptism). I'd get my first belt. ^_^

All work and no play makes Kristine a dull girl.

Thank God for Capoeira. Definitely better than any anti-stress medicine.

Doing just fine.

I ought to write about this tomorrow. When I already have enough sleep. When I can say that I am fully calm --- when the reality had already sink in. But then again, it doesn't really matter if I write about it today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. After all that's about it.

Doesn't change anything.

I'm deeply saddened today. Guess there's no other way to describe it. Plain and simple: I just feel sad. You might be wondering why. After-all if you know me you can hardly see me frown. I remember one time an office mate asked me if I've ever been angry. She said it's hard for her to imagine me in such state. I had taken that as a compliment. At the same time that got me thinking: is this really the real me?

But I don't want to talk about that (at least for now). There were just some recent unexpected happenings in the office that made me sad---depressed in away. And though I really can't give out the full details, the gist of the story is, I've lost some office friends along the way. Let's just say that starting today, I will never see some of those familiar faces I've shared my nights and days with for months now and even for some---for almost a year now.

The fact that I was one of those who were "lucky" to be saved first doesn't alleviate the feeling of sadness. Maybe I just got to consider this as one of those "experience-is-what-you-get-when-you-did-not-get-what-you-wanted-lesson". An eye-opener/a reminder to hold on to what you have right now, to cherish it, to take care of it, to nurture it...cause you'll never know, tomorrow you might lost it all: may it be your special friend, a favorite toy, or even your job.

Can I consider myself lucky that I had others experience that for me in order to realize it? Will I consider myself fortunate enough that I'm not of one those who learned the lesson the hard way? Maybe. Maybe not.

Sometimes, there's just really no easy way to compromise.

And yeah, me feeling sad doesn't change anything anyway.

As usual, I'll just get by the thought that this too shall pass and that everything ends up fine most of the time anyway.

And that for the most part, I am fine.

I think.

Cordova Reef Summer Outing

We had our 2010 company outing last May 31 at Cordova Reef, located at Mactan Cebu. It was a fun day. I had my first ever banana boat ride and I never ever imagined in my entire existence that I'd find myself floating in the middle of the sea but I did. I don't trust myself much as a swimmer so Thank God for life jackets. ^_^

Buffet food, overflowing ice tea (if only ice tea can get you drunk I could have been drunk that day. lol), henna tattoo and again the highlight of the day is the banana boat ride. I got to ride it twice. wohooo!!! It was really awesome. Wicked! Yes, it was wickedly awesome!

Anyway, not really in the mood to describe everything in words so let the pictures do the talking.XD

land trip! wohooo!

si sup Sue at May.ka-bus-mates.=P

nakarating din. syempre, picture agad!

banana boat ride! ba't ba kasi ang layo ng shot. -_-silent prayer: buti nga walang shark.=P

kung walang life jacket ewan ko na lang sayo.=P

henna raw.

Me, Ossi, and Justin. Uwian na!

Me and Polly. Uwian na talaga! good thing no sunburn for me^_^


Summer is officially over. Have to wait for another year again before we could experience this season again. Well, I never had any summer fling or summer love. I don't know why all of the sudden I mentioned that. haha. But at least even just one time I get to feel what it's like to feel the summer heat in the beach.

I don't consider myself as a beach bum but it's definitely nice to spend some quality time with nature from time to time. Especially if everything is for free.^_^

Twenty-two.

How will you spend the day before your birthday? Maybe for most of us, we'd only regard it as another ordinary day. After all, what's worth celebrating about this day? It's like the death of your current age. Maybe one would even wallow and grieve especially for those who just hate getting old. Or maybe again for most of us, we'd just continue with our mundane life as if nothing is about to end. Maybe that's the right attitude: avoid the drama.

But maybe I am not one those "most of us". Cause here I am actually, writing about this kind of day: my last day as a 22-year old girl. Funny, I stopped for a minute and argued within myself whether I'd go for girl or woman. That reminded me of a Britney song. lol.

Anyway, I haven't really made anything extraordinary today. I was actually hoping I could do something extreme like some edge-coaster ride or bungee jumping or some zip-line experience maybe. Or something that I could do that would give me valid reason to shout on top of my lungs then I'd go on laughing out loud till I cry due to excitement, fear and sadness at the same time. Maybe then I'd get to release all of my life's sentimentality. Then maybe after that I could just simply grab a cup of coffee, sit in the corner of my favorite coffee shop and relive that moment.

Well, the extreme-part is totally not possible of course (or just maybe I simply have cold feet). So I opted for the coffee part. I went to my favorite coffee shop wearing this tattered old jeans, old faded tees and old black slippers. Funny how my old garments makes me feel so young. And I really didn't care if I was with a company of fashionable-corporate-looking customers. I was holding my journal when I ordered my coffee then Mr. Barista asked if my classmates will be joining me in a bit. It took me a full minute to fully comprehend the question before I responded that No, I am alone for now.

OK. The outfit and the notebook have done their part VERY well.

Or maybe that barista guy is simply not accustomed with "students" spending their afternoon chitchats alone.

Well, although I could say that I do love the company of my family and friends, I'd always love to take some time out alone. Completely alone. Like dine out or watch movie alone. Whatever. No-one left to act normal for. No need to hide who I really am. It's definitely… freeing.

There are those instances like now that I wish I could just sleep all day, and forget the world that exists outside of my slumber. Then just dream about what life could have been or what life can actually bring.

And then I'd try to look back and see the story of my life flash before me then I'd realize I haven't really lived life yet in its entirety.

After all I'm only 22. Ok. Almost 23 now. And when I look myself in the mirror I'd asked myself what have you become? And naturally, I’ll ask more questions that I really don’t want to know the answers to.

Again, ignorance, really, is bliss. Denial then is healthier than I had ever assumed.

Geez. Sorry, I think the last 5 paragraphs are out of the topic. Anyway, like what I have said, I am just another drama-queen tonight. But yeah, I am just thankful for this life. I thank God that I have more blessings more than downfalls. I thank God that I have more friends more than enemies. And I thank God that I have more love to give more than to hate. And that if I am to relive my last 22 years, I'd still choose to live with the people who loves me and with the haters who had made me strong.

And so in behalf of my young-haywired-mind, my crazy-heart speaks tonight.. and it's saying thanks and I LOVE YOU. ♥

Hello June.

First day of June.

Marks the end of summer and start of the rainy season and classes for students. Well, I don't know if it's a good thing that I could no longer relate for the latter but I remember writing an article about this month in one of my old blog sites. As to how this month had always been special for me. Not only because I dreamt of becoming a June bride and neither because I love walking in the rain or because I liked school. But because this month significe another digit in my years of living in this planet.

I watched Prince of Persia and the Sands of Time today and I like it. If only there's really such dagger and sand that could make it possible to go back in a certain time so you can undo all the things that have gone wrong.

Which also reminds me of the song that had been playing in my mind for the last hour: "Can we pretend that airplanes are like shooting stars in the night sky... I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now".

Maybe I'd wish for that moment when things are still so simple. Sometimes, I wish I could relive my childhood...when my only problem is someone will knock my ice cream down and mom won't let me watch TV...when ignorance is such a bliss.

Yeah, I could really use a wish right now, wish right now.