checklist

I woke up with a headache and when I checked the clock it's already past 8:30. First thought: Shit. Work at 9 and I'd surely be late. This will be the first time I'd ever be late for work if ever. Then I pulled myself up. The room was pitch dark but then I saw a little ray of sunshine trying to slip through the window curtain. Then I realized that Shit again. It's indeed 8:30 but it's only 8:30 in the morning. Work is 9PM. So I've only been asleep for roughly an hour and a half.

Shit.

I think I am hallucinating.

I tried climbing back to sleep after that but had trouble sleeping. Good thing my room mate went home to her province or for sure she'd certainly be annoyed by all the tossing and turning. I needed to get back to sleep.

But what the.

I got up, washed my face, put on the jeans I used last night, wore the first shirt that's hanging on the rack and decided to take a walk. Sleep is already out of the equation now. I picked up my clothes from a laundry shop. Grabbed a full meal. Read a newspaper cover to cover (except the obituary and the lifestyle sections). Get back to the boarding house. Read a couple of chapters of Peter Pan's world and tried sleeping again but of course failed to do so. Have to blame the latest happening in the office for the last 3 nights.

But anyway, to make the restlessness worthwhile I fixed our room. At least when my room mate gets back, she won't complain that our room had been converted to a pigsty. I realized it's been almost a year now eversince I opened the box for my ECE review materials. And looks like that will be left untouched for the mean time. Then I saw my "To Do List" and I realized that was left untouched as well. And I realized that among the 55 things I have written I've only accomplished 5 so far. And some are pretty much unattainable already.

Do you think there can be such a thing? To live your daily life through list that you never succeed in fully accomplishing anyway?

Lately I've been feeling that way.

I think I need to get myself inside a confessional box.

But crap.

For now, what I really need is a double shot of espresso to keep me awake.