It's like drinking coffee.

I keep my self busy. Time goes faster that way.

I go to sleep alone and wake up alone. I take walks. I work until I'm tired. I watch the wind play...Everything seems simple until you think about it. Why is love intensified by absense?

-Clare, Time Traveler's Wife, Prolouge

He's Back.

Or at least in our hometown.

Oh well. The news that he's back was not a great surprise on my part. Not if you'll get all those notifications in FB. It's inevitable not to read or see them.

But don't you think that the fact that I'm blogging it means that it is still a great deal for me?

I think I need a little nudge here to help me remember. JMVEC, when did I exactly say that I am over him?

Wait. How many times have I told myself that I'm already over him? It could be the number of blog entries that I have or even more. All those getting over him, giving up on him, letting go, never meant to be, moved on, no longer a part of me, a face in a crowd, closure, not affected, I'll wish no more, to love again, false hopes. Damn. They all mean and lead to one thing.

I'm a broken a record.

And I hold my zodiac responsible for it. Gemini's inconsistency seemed to be a pretty great excuse.

Well come to think of it, five years is five years. It's not something one can just throw away right on.

But oh well. Much had been said/written about him by me. I think I've pretty much given my sentiments from that Unsent Letter entry.

Firsts are something one easily remembers but hardly forget. That pretty much reminded me of Han Gyul from Coffee Prince. You know the way he felt towards Yu Ju. Yes, he too is like a bad habit for me. Like drinking water in the morning… I can't not see him, and even if I try not to, I end up seeing him anyway… a terrible habit. But he is more like a coffee for me ---- My black-sugarless coffee. The first ever coffee I had come in to liking. That even though I had come in to liking other coffee flavors, nothing still beats the original.

A habit.

Such a hard habit to break.

And if I can add one more thing in that Unsent Letter, maybe this:

Still I couldn't find someone half as right as you.