I need to know.

Kris Allen - I Need To Know

Click on play button for background music.^_^

It's not going to be a date.

I keep on repeating that line over my head.

Somehow I'm still wondering until now how it actually started. Or why the sudden attention. I don't want to expect. But just like any other girl, it's difficult not to.

There are just instances in my life right now that I never saw coming. Situations that I'd rather keep the tales to my self. I'd rather be selfish about the details. Yes I know that this blog site is my online journal but there are just some things I'd rather write in my handwritten journal, share only with my closest friends or maybe with my brother alone. Some things I'd rather keep private.

All I can say right now is that it's hyprotical to say that I am not flattered by all these attention. As a girl, it always feels nice to be noticed especially from the opposite sex. It makes you feel wanted. It makes you feel good inside. It makes you take a second look at the mirror and you can't help but talk to your reflection and say: You look great girl.

I know to my self that I am no being of physical perfection. I am rather flawed in every way possible. No. I know I'll never be like those super models who can still look hot even in rags. Nor do I plan to make use of science to make me look like one. I feel no inferiority for I know I'm beautiful in ways that mean something beyond superficiality. A beautiful mind...A beautiful heart...A beautiful sense of maturity...A beautiful sense of life...A beautiful grasp of faith.

I know it's hard to get away from the world's supeficiality but only if we can recognize the beauty we own, perhaps we'll all wake up with smile in our face and we'll all begin to see who we are at best.

It's hard to be contented but often times it's the discontent that's making everything difficult.

For now all I need is to know if all these expectations will lead me to something. After all, up until now he had yet to confess his true motive or if there's something else beyond the need to borrow the book or the desire to explore the city. Somehow I can't help but wish that the main reason he'd be here is to see me. Maybe that's too much to ask. And I'm not even sure that I'd be able to reciprocate IT if I am indeed the reason why. After all, what do I know about him beyond school stuffs?

But yes maybe my romanticism is just getting in the way again: The in dire need to tell my own story.

But Can you show me? Can you make me believe?

Yes I need to know.